Taken from my Journal:

Sitting here at retreat, at Calvary Bible College Murietta, sipping coffee and musing. I’ve been feeling a little un-spiritual lately. Found some gems in Jeremiah 31 this morning, as God always knows how to cheer me up. I read about how Israel was sinful, and that God was the one who scattered them. Wondering if God is telling me something? But then knowing how often Israel sinned, and reading in Jeremiah how God has plans to ransom and restore them, blesses me and gives me peace.  

JEREMIAH 31:10-14  “HEAR THE WORD OF THE LORD , O NATIONS, AND DECLARE IT IN THE COASTLANDS FAR AWAY; SAY, ‘HE WHO SCATTERED ISRAEL WILL GATHER HIM, AND WILL KEEP HIM AS A SHEPHERD KEEPS HIS FLOCK.’ FOR THE LORD HAS RANSOMED JACOB AND HAS REDEEMED HIM FROM HANDS TOO STRONG FOR HIM. THEY SHALL COME AND SING ALOUD ON THE HEIGHT OF ZION, AND THEY SHALL BE RADIANT OVER THE GOODNESS OF THE LORD , OVER THE GRAIN, THE WINE, AND THE OIL, AND OVER THE YOUNG OF THE FLOCK AND THE HERD; THEIR LIFE SHALL BE LIKE A WATERED GARDEN, AND THEY SHALL LANGUISH NO MORE. THEN SHALL THE YOUNG WOMEN REJOICE IN THE DANCE, AND THE YOUNG MEN AND THE OLD SHALL BE MERRY. I WILL TURN THEIR MOURNING INTO JOY; I WILL COMFORT THEM, AND GIVE THEM GLADNESS FOR SORROW. I WILL FEAST THE SOUL OF THE PRIESTS WITH ABUNDANCE, AND MY PEOPLE SHALL BE SATISFIED WITH MY GOODNESS, DECLARES THE LORD .”

Taken from my journal in 2007:

Yesterday morning John and I went to the publishing facility to pick up my CD’s, brand new and hot off the presses. Of course we had to celebrate at Starbucks! Over chai lattes and one shared blueberry scone, we took off the plastic wrap and opened the very first CD. Musing over the graphics, so pretty, I noticed that the songs are listed in the wrong order on the back. Ugh, a beautiful moment ruined. Well, most people won’t notice, I guess. But such a huge error!

Then it was ‘bye to sweet hubby, and off to my day job. Excited to have an album out, wishing I didn’t still have to work, and then my phone rang. It was John, and his dad had died.  Dad had been in the hospice facility, daily wasting away from the cancer, and we had been waiting for this moment. But, why on the day of the CD? So bittersweet this day was turning out.

The family gathered in dad’s room at the hospice facility. Much sadness, much laughter, as we recounted memories. Then we all went over to mom’s, who also has cancer.  She’s not doing super good, she’s sad, kinda mad, and really worried about her future. My heart went out to her. A few hours later, I left to make the hour drive home and take care of my kid. Of course, I was rear-ended by an uninsured motorist. Who was a college age girl, begging me not to tell the police, and assuring me that she would pay for the damage on the side. Right!

Why do people have to get cancer? Why do I have to get rear-ended? Why do things always seem to go wrong? I don’t have the answers to the “why’s” of life. But I do know that God loves me, and I Him. What a RELIEF!  That crazy day a couple years ago, when John’s dad died, I realized how much bigger God is than my troubles. And I was so relieved to have God in my life… always taking care of me :)

Oswald Chambers, verse for today: “Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?  Then said I, Here am I; send me.” Isaiah 6:8

Chambers goes on to say, “God did not address the call to Isaiah, Isaiah overheard God saying, “who will go for us?” The call of God is not for the special few, it is for everyone. Whether or not I hear God’s call depends uponthe state of my ears; and what I hear depends upon my disposition.”  And he ends with, “If we let the Spirit of God bring us face to face with God, we to shall hear something akin to what Isaiah heard, the still small voice of God; and in perfect freedom will say, “here am I; send me.”

Aren’t we glad that Oswald Chambers said, “Here am I,” to God?